Reflections on poems from Lord of the Rings: Return of Bling Bling, and Aragorn’s new fascination: the Bath, which most of us are so very familiar. I am afraid, however, that this is a novelty for the poor man...
All that is cold does not shiver;
Not all soaps on sale have low cost;
The dirt that is strong does not wither;
Not all the clean teeth have been flossed.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A tub from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be soap that was broken,
The to-be-crowned again shall be clean!
Aragorn was so delighted that he burst into song!
"Sing hey! For the bath at close of day
that washes the weary mud away
A loon is he that will not sing
O! Water Hot is a noble thing!
"O! Sweet is the sound of falling rain,
and the brook that leaps from hill to plain;
but better then rain or rippling streams
is Water Hot that smokes and steams.
"O! Water cold we may pour at need
down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed
but better is beer if drink we lack,
and Water Hot poured down the back.
"O! Water is fair that leaps on high
in a fountain white beneath the sky;
but never did fountain sound so sweet
as splashing Hot Water with my feet!
After his luxurious bath, the new King went to sleep, and dreamt a long, beautiful dream, that made him smile in his sleep. Dreams are a strange thing though, controlled by the Faerie of the Clouds. As the popular poem goes:
Three dreams for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for mortal men doomed to die,
One for the faerie-queen on her cloud-throne
In the land of the sunsets where all good dreams lie.
One dream to rule them all,
One dream to find them.
One dream to bring them all and in the sunset bind them,
In the land of the sunsets where all good dreams lie.
This obviously indicates the Faerie Dream-Queen’s purpose: to make everyone happy, and that she had such success with one dream, she simply gave it to everybody!
LOTR: ROBB Plot overview:
Bathing is only one part of the story Lord of the Rings:
Return of Bling Bling, however, as the story is much more complicated. It is about a single ring, the only one made of it’s kind, which is very, very expensive. So expensive, in fact, that instead of working hard to make the money necessary to acquire the ring, men try to steal it, and soon great wars are fought over this precious piece of jewelry. Nobody quite knows the reason it is so valuable, except that it is rare. For there are no precious stones (at least not visible), and rumor has it that the ring has very little pure gold, and some other strange new metal that does not conduct heat. This can be evidenced by throwing the ring into a fire. This new metal is also obviously evident for the fact that it cannot be broken; even with that new stainless-steel axe you keep in your garage!
As an epic battle ensues for this ring, another battle is being fought. Apparently the steward of Gondor, in an effort to make himself more money in order to buy this priceless rarity, cut factory wages and increased hours. This made his workers very angry, so they went on strike and caused another battle. Eventually, "lord" Denethor, as he commanded people call him (to affirm his "superiority"), was so disgusted, and discouraged at the outcome, that, instead of living a hopeless life without the ring, he set himself on fire, and jumped off the edge of a cliff. Rumor has it that his son Faramir also wanted the ring, and was secretly raising money. This outraged Denethor even more, and an attempt was made by the steward at his son’s life. This, however, was quickly stopped by Gandalf the White, who guards the current owner of the ring, who got it through his uncle’s will. Lucky fellow! This selfless chap who has the ring now (his name is withheld to protect him), is on his way to a mystery destination, where he vows he will destroy the beautiful ring, in order to give Middle Earth back its sanity.
We shall see what becomes of him in the next issue of the Middle-Earth Informer: Keeping you in touch with the latest stories!
