Parodies Etc.> Misc > Frodo's E-mail
Frodo's E-mail
Apparently Frodo Baggins brought his computer with him on the Quest to destroy the One Ring. This is what was in his inbox when he last checked it ::wink:: ::wink::
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: I_hate_showers@gonder.ME
Frodo, did you bring your laptop computer with you to Mordor? I can’t believe you got past security...that is if you’re still alive. I mean...how are you? I hope you are well. I best be going, I got 73 e-mails from Arwen, and I only have 23 more minutes to check them all.
Bye.
~Aragorn
To: I_hate_showers@gonder.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Aragorn,
Of course I’m still alive! I did also bring my laptop with me. Have fun reading all those e-mails from Arwen. She is a babe......but don’t tell her I said that, she’s already pretty mad about that other girl Eowyn as you probably already know. Well bye for now, Gollum’s begging me to let him play solitaire; he’s hooked on that game.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: Iamneverlate@Istari.ME
Frodo, How are you young hobbit? I hear the weather in Mordor is not quite nice. I hope you are still alive and have not lost that ring. Well, I need to go. These kids are whining for more fireworks.
Farewell.
~Gandalf
To: Iamneverlate@Istari.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
I’m doing alright, yourself? I’m not in Mordor yet, but that’s ok. I’m working on getting there. I’m alive, and let’s not talk about the Ring, whenever someone ever says that it I get this strange feeling...Like I have a crush on it or something. Almost like that one time with Rosie…oh, don’t tell her I said that, ok? You’re in Hobbiton right now? Lucky...well, I’ve got to go.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: I_love_sam@the.shire.ME
Hey Frodo! Um...I noticed Sam left his laptop at home, so I thought I’d just e-mail you and you could give it to him. (This is where you stop reading and you give the laptop to Sam or YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONCEQUENCES!!!!!! :)
Hi honey! How are you? I love you SOOO much! I miss you! Come back soon. (Now give the laptop back to Frodo. :)
BYE GUYS!!!!
~Rosie
To: I_love_sam@the.shire.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Hello Rosie. Yes Sam did leave his laptop at home. It’s nice to hear from you. I’ll try to get Sam to write something to you but he, along with Gollum, is hooked on Solitaire, but I’m sure he’d love to write to you. I’ve never seen Gollum and Sam tolerate each other so well……alright I’ll go get Sam.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: I_love_sam@the.shire.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
‘Ello Rosie, this is Sam. Listen, I can’t talk long, because I have to get back to my solitaire, but I love you too! I’ll come back soon, so we can get married and have all those kids you keep talking about.
Love,
~Sam
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: not_the_beard@Moria.ME
Hello Frodo, seen any fine caves lately? Last week we were fighting a battle at Helm’s Deep and Legolas and I had a contest of who could kill the most orcs.......and I won! Loser, he thought he could beat a dwarf. Well, I need to go Legolas is cheating and trying to kill more orcs with out me.
Bye for now.
~Gimli
To: not_the_beard@Moria.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Hello Gimli. Um...that’s all very nice, but I have a QUEST to do here. A QUEST!!!!! Ooo, it’s my turn to play solitaire, I’ll talk to you later.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: pretty_perfect_hair@mirkwood.ME
Dear Frodo, I don’t mean to be a bother, but I think you accidentally took my hairbrush when we parted. It’s been hard with out it. If you ever stop by a post office during your trip, please send it to me. I can’t live with out it. Gimli and Aragorn have been playing mean tricks on me lately, last night they stole my hairdryer and won’t give it back! .....Oh I got to go. They’re after my barrettes now.
Bye.
~Legolas
To: pretty_perfect_hair@mirkwood.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Hello Legolas. Yes, I do have your hairbrush. The pink one with sparkles? Yes, it’s done wonders on Gollum’s hair, thank you so much for letting me borrow it. I’ll just send it back when I find a post office. That’s funny what Gimli and Aragorn are doing to you, tell them to keep it up.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: I_love_sam@the.shire.ME
Frodo, Gandalf told me that you like me. Tell Sam I love him!
~Rosie
To: I_love_sam@the.shire.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Did he? Never trust a wizard with your secrets, and the correct phrasing was ‘liked’ not like.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: I_love_aragorn@rohan.ME
Hey Frodo, this is Merry. How are you? Things have been ok here. I miss Pip though. Have you ever seen anyone that’s very in love before? Well, right now that’s the way Eowyn is now........it starts driving you nuts after a few minutes in the same room with her. I hope all is well with you and Sam. Say hi to him for me.
Bye.
~Merry
PS. Have you ever played Solitaire before? It’s really fun!
To: I_love_aragorn@rohan.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
HEY MERRY!!!!! So, are you really in love with Aragorn? I always knew it. Well, it’s my turn to play solitaire, which is really fun indeed!
Bye, now!
~Frodo
PS: I thought your e-mail addy was i_am_a_pyro@buckland.ME . I guess you changed it.
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: Gondor_is_MINE@gondor.ME
Yo, Frodo! This is Pippin! I’m using someone else’s computer. It was just lying around and the only e-mail addresses I could remember were your’s and Rosie’s. So, how are you? I’m not bad. I just sang a cool song to this really insane guy (I think this might be his computer). Well, I need to get going, I’m reading a fan-fic about myself.
Bye.
~Pippin
To: Gondor_is_MINE@gondor.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Hi Pip, I’m glad to hear that that wasn’t your computer. I was beginning to wonder about you. Am I in the fan-fic too? What song did you sing to the insane guy? Well, I need to go, Sam and Gollum just got into a fistfight about whose turn it was to play Solitaire.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: I_love_aragorn@rohan.ME
Frodo, I just wanted to clear up something. I’m the one in love with Aragorn, not Merry,…. Or at least I hope not. I actually think that Merry likes me instead, but anyway, don’t tell Arwen.
Bye.
~Eowyn
To: I_love_aragorn@rohan.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Eowyn, oh, sorry I got that messed up, but everything is clear now. So, Merry likes you? Tell him that I say “Good luck with that one”. I won’t tell Arwen, secrets safe with me.
Bye.
~Frodo
To: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
From: Gondor_is_MINE@gondor.ME
Who is this? Why are you e-mailing my slave…*a-hem* steward, Pippin? He’s not aloud to touch any electrical things, for the good of Middle Earth, and if you know him, you would strongly agree. Well, it’s time for me to burn myself, since I have nothing better to do.
~ Denethor
To: Gondor_is_MINE@gondor.ME
From: big_blue_eyes@bag.end.ME
Sorry Denethor, and yes I do think that it is a good idea to keep Pippin away from any electronics. At home when he uses anything at least someone is watching. Oh well, it seems like your computer is still working well.
~Frodo
PS have you ever tried solitaire?
Then suddenly Gollum, in an attempt to play solitaire, dropped the computer from the Stair of Amun Sul. Looks like Frodo won’t be receiving any e-mails for a long time...
By: Lauren Hale and Sara Johnson